on embracing radical authenticity

i see elder family members struggle to communicate with their partner or their partner’s family. grown ass people btw. they keep trying and trying and arguing. always speaking past each other. why? because they’re so deeply committed to the wrong person. but there’s no going back.

either they hadn’t identified what they wanted out of life early enough, or they didn’t stick to their standards. either way the compounding cost became irreversible. so now they’re in a life they never wanted, and are suffering at family gatherings and doing stuff they don’t want to do. for what?

i find this terrifying. OK i’m 20. but i feel like trying to change this at 45 is going to be an unnecessary disaster.

i read this in some dating book and it has had a hold on me ever since: being polarizing is better than being indifferent. show people exactly who you are. anxieties. vulnerabilities. whatever. and this is the cool thing, it’s so obvious idk how i’d missed it: those who leave weren’t your people anyways!!

because if you adopt a fake persona to please people, of course you’ll accomplish things in line with that fake persona. which is not what YOU really wanted.

richard feynman said it better than i can: “You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing. I am what I am.”

embrace radical authenticity from the start. and never stop. it’s the only way to end up somewhere that’s true to you.

i’ll leave you with a lil nugget i liked: fall in love slowly, break up quickly.